One of the biggest challenges I find my clients have is the scarcity mindset. Scarcity around money, time, energy. And this constant feeling like that's the big block in their life. Well, that's what we're gonna be uncovering today. Welcome to the Balance Code Podcast, a place for high achievers to step outside the hamster wheel of day-to-day life and start learning tools for more balance. I'm your host, Katie Rossler and I will be guiding you on this journey of discovering your balance code. Welcome, Candice, to the podcast! I am really excited to dive into what's going on with the scarcity mindset and how we can start to use it differently in our lives. So tell us a little bit about yourself, where you are, what you do, and whom you serve.

Candice: Yeah, I'm Candice Bax Friesan. I'm from Manitoba, which is in Canada. And I am a real estate agent as well as a money coach. And you know, money coaching can be either personal, so individuals, couples, or small business entrepreneurs as well. Um, so I really enjoy it because it just gives me a lot of variety. You know, we have money issues that come up at all stages of life, whether it's, you know, teenagers, and some of that we'll talk about today, but no, it starts when you're really young. Um, your different thoughts around money, so it can be teenagers all the way up to, um, when you're looking to retire and you have those changes in life again. And you're trying to figure out exactly what you're talking about, you know, do we have enough money? What's this gonna look like? Uh, for the last couple of decades, so it's, yeah, it's been a great career, and I love it.

Katie: How is a little bit about the journey of real estate, and then also, you know, helping people with that money mindset coaching? What came first? How did it all evolve? Yeah, yeah.

Candice: It's kind of interesting. Um, I think that the journey through entrepreneurship is always, um, it always just varies so much for people. And I think that's what's so exciting about it and interesting. But, uh, so when I was a teenager, I, I was surrounded with entrepreneurs. So I, my parents and my grandparents were all entrepreneurial backgrounds. And so, um, so that wasn't new to me. I grew up with it and and knew a lot about it just from what you pick up through conversation at your house and things like that. But then I thought, okay, well, I'm, I'm not gonna ask questions but because I'm too, uh, I, I just don't wanna let anyone know that I'm wondering about all this stuff. But I think as a teenager, you get to that point where you're like, okay, how am I gonna do this? You know, I see success around me, but how am I gonna pay her bills and how am I gonna move out one day? So I, I was a little bit nerdy, and I was reading personal finance books. And back then, you know, we didn't have podcasts and amazing ways to learn things, right? YouTube and so much knowledge at our fingertips right now. But back then it was books. So I, I read what I could, and I was always gonna be an accountant. I sort of knew that it was pretty driven already as a teenager. Um, and then, yeah, I went to university, and then I met my husband, and everything kind of changed. You know, I thought I would be a career woman with no kids, and now I'm married and I have four kids. So, um, never say never in life. But basically, you know, I ended up having the opportunity to become a realtor. And through conversations over the years, people would say, you know, you seem to know something about money, like, can I ask you about, you know, even though this isn't really related to me selling my house, but I'm getting an inheritance. What do you think I should do? And just different things like that. And so I think if you listen to what people are telling you, often you can see opportunity. And I just thought, you know, I can, I can really impact people a lot through selling homes, but helping people in their day-to-day struggles is a whole another, um, way to help people. And so I ended up becoming a money coach as well. And, yeah, so whether it's small businesses and, you know, helping them cut back on expenses or increase profitability and sales or, yeah, personal finance, just having those conversations, why do you spend the money, right? And really uncovering some of those things. Um, so that's, that's a little bit about my journey, and it's been a lot of fun.

Katie: As a teenager, you must have been the friend that all the parents wanted to make sure their kid hung out with, right? Like, you know, oh, she'll do it, she won't, she'll make sure they don't spend it all on this, so that, right? Because she's the one to make sure they're friends. I think that's amazing and really cool about that purpose that we have in life that often comes out in our teens, you know, our young adult years, where it's like, yeah, this is what I'm meant for, this is what I'm supposed to be doing, I really feel called to this. It just showed up differently than you thought it would.

Candice: Oh, no, yeah, yeah. And I, I totally, when you were sharing about that, like, you know, it's gonna be a career woman, and I met my husband and probably have four kids, and I was like, yeah, I wasn't gonna get married, I wasn't gonna have kids, and here I am in Germany, married with three. So, yeah, never say never, I've learned that is absolutely something you remove from your vocabulary, cause the moment you do that, give it a couple of years and you'll be looking back going, wait, what? Yeah, I said I wouldn't do this, though? And I get here? Yeah, exactly.

Katie: Well, let's talk about the scarcity mindset. Share kind of your point of view of what the scarcity mindset is, uh-huh, where it's coming from for a lot of us.

Candice: Yeah, so I think you can either have scarcity or abundance, right? Those are sort of the two, and hopefully, we have, we have to have a little bit of both, right? You have to recognize that there is scarcity, like, I can't just go blow all the money I want. I have to recognize there is only a finite amount of money that's coming into my household. Um, but then, yeah, you can, so, but then again, if you don't have that abundance mindset, you're always worried about the scarcity, and you're not often taking advantage of the opportunities that come up. Um, I just had a high school graduate, and you know, so I put it out there to social media, like, hey, what was, what's the advice that you would offer? Tons of great things came in, but I think that's one of them that I would share with anybody is, um, and grads especially, again, sort of at that time of your life, is just, there's so many opportunities, but you have to be watching for them. And so, um, scarcity can just be such a distraction from seeing opportunity. If you're always thinking, no, that's not for me. Oh, they get all the cool opportunities, there's nothing for me. I'm not smart enough, I'm not, da da da, um, and you always see lack, then you're not gonna see those opportunities as they come up, right?

Katie: That's very true. As you're sharing, I'm just thinking about, you know, yes, about teens and and college students starting to learn some of these tools, but I'm thinking about how important it is even raising our kids and starting to teach them healthier mindsets around money. Exactly what you said, like, it's not endlessly coming in, there's work to be done to to bring it in. Often, and sometimes it comes in in fun ways, right? But there's also the side of, you know, look for the opportunities, look for, like you said, the abundance sort of mindset. And this is around time and energy and money, and we were talking about money specifically, but I think that same is applies to time, right? I never have enough time, and I never have enough time. Well, let's actually look at your calendar and see what you're filling it with that is making it not enough time. Or even our energy. When we think about the things we can start to shift in our homes to support the next generation in having a better money mindset, what are some tips you have?

Candice: Yeah, I think you have to start, yeah, um, so if I think of my kids, we probably started when they were three or four. And no, you're not taking out dollar bills saying, this is $1, you know, this is what you can buy, but it's the values around money and working hard and and everybody working together. Um, so having, um, a very busy household, uh, we're constantly shifting things because I don't work nine to five, right? I could look like I have nothing going on, and then suddenly, no, I'm gone, see you guys, I gotta go show houses or have appointments. Um, and so that has really made them, I don't like the word pivot since COVID, but really that's kind of what we're always doing. It's like, okay, what is today look like? What is, you know, the next few hours look like? Because things are constantly changing. Um, but you know, back when they were three or four years old, it was like, okay, who wants to help with the dishwasher? And, okay, you're doing that, okay, how can you help? And it's sort of that we all work together. So when I have to leave for an appointment, it's because I'm working for the family. And later we'll do fun stuff because I worked hard, right? And so it's just sort of sharing those values. I remember around Christmas one year, the kids were like, oh, we want a Lego set, we want a Lego set, and and we were in the grocery store, and I just said, okay, guys, like, we have a certain amount of money, should we go buy another Lego set because you have lots already, or should we go buy some food for the food bank? Well, kids know right there, like, well, yeah, food, food for people who need it. So again, and it's just going over those types of values that are really important to you. And, um, and I think another thing that came through a lot when I was teaching the kids was just the values that I learned that were really important to me as a kid. Um, which, like, my grandparents came as refugees with nothing during World War II, right? So my grandma was always like, always be working in the garden together. And she's like, yeah, I'm working for you guys, and we're working hard so that you got, you and your brothers have opportunities. And it was always very future-focused. And so we do the same thing with our kids, right? Like, we're working hard so you guys have opportunities. And so again, that's just been the talk, you know, um, yes, there's times when things don't go great or when money's tighter if we've just invested in something or, um, and it's okay to share that kind of stuff. You know, when the kids say, how much did you buy this house for? And you say, uh, I'm not telling you. Well, right away, there's like this secrecy around money, right? So sometimes we say things cause we don't really know what to say. But, uh, but we have to be really careful with how we respond to their questions and and be open to having money conversations.

Katie: Oh, that speaks to me so much, cause I think often, without realizing it, we're creating the future scarcity mindset for them based off of our response. And it really is exactly what you said. I don't, I feel uncomfortable, I don't know how to talk about this with you, like, I don't know an age-appropriate response to that question. And so it's really good to start to think about what would be some answers, or if you've already been asked questions by your child, what can you go back and say, hey, you asked me this and I didn't have a good answer, here's my answer, right? Like, here's what I'd like to say. I have heard many say not to be at the grocery store or at a toy store, whatever, and say, we don't have the money for that, right? Or like, because that immediately creates this, like, for a child, I'm like, oh my gosh, what's wrong with us? Because that's what we'll say as parents, to be like, you know, I don't, I don't wanna pay for that. Well, we just don't have the money right now. And so we have to be careful of our gut instincts, which is probably what we were taught as kids, right? Now, the money for that, stop, don't ask me anymore, part that we go, okay, well, what is it I would like them to to know? And I usually say to my kids, for me, it doesn't make sense for us to spend the money on that versus, like, you, you know, you kind of gave them options, like, versus us spend it on something we're gonna get to enjoy long-term and have for longer. And they're like, oh, that makes sense. Like, yeah, it does, right? I get that candy looks like fun, but what about, you know, this thing over here that you can play with for years? And like, probably won't be years, but you know, like, it's like, hey, there's a way of thinking about it now. You brought in your family, um, and a cultural difference. I would love to bring culture into this conversation. So culturally, I have noticed, and I'd love to hear your perspective on it, depending on where you are from in the world, there were different times where scarcity was actually, actually, actually a thing, right? Majority. And because of that, generations then raise their kids with that fear and that mindset. So share with me what you have noticed on the cultural level around the scarcity mindset.

Candice: Yeah, well, I think, like you said, I think that's bang on, like, it really depends where your family came from, what they went through, and that will impact generations. Uh, so my parents going through the 1980s when interest rates were over 20%, there was that we have to pay off debt, we can't be going doing extra things because we're hardly making it here. So we know all of us will know of some people who didn't make it, right? They did lose their homes in the 80s because the interest rates were so crazy. Um, so then when you talk to people in that age bracket, you know, 60s, they'll tell their kids you pay off your mortgage, you pay off your mortgage. Well, that's not necessarily the right advice when interest rates were 1.9%, right, a few years ago. So you, you have to be careful with recognizing what people have gone through in their lives or, um, or yeah, either like my grandparents where it was a situation or interest rate wise where it was my parents, um, and what they've gone through will impact again because they have now experienced something or they have fear around something, but that could be impacting their advice as well, right? So some of that is good, you know, we can't just be, like I said, completely fearless either, right? You have to have wisdom around making decisions. But but when people are very worried and very fearful, you're not investing at all, right? You're hiding it in in the backyard, which some people do, right? Because they, they were so scared, right? Uh, the other thing would be if you come from a country where you couldn't trust the government or you still can't trust the government, um, people have a hard time looking at, you know, in Canada here, um, different retirement programs that the government offers, and they're like, yeah, but this isn't, like, this is too good to be true, right? And that's like, no, like, it's a valid program, but they just don't trust the government because of where they came from again, right? So, um, yeah, so there's definitely a lot of cultural things that the plan to help people make decisions, for sure.

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Katie: I found in growing up in the United States, you know, student loan debt, normal.

Candice: Totally.

Katie: I met my husband, and everybody here was like, what? Oh my gosh, how quickly are you paying that off? Like, you know, are you, would buy a house or a car, they were appalled

Katie: to hear the small amount people would put a down payment, right? Right, cause it's like either you paying cash or you, you put as much as you can up front so you don't have this big debt because debt here for many years, and it has shifted, but give her many years was like a big no-no.

Candice: Yeah.

Katie: Then on the flip side, you have, well, I'm paying almost 50% taxes, so yeah, that makes sense that school would be free, right? I can go get my doctorate for free. It would make sense that there would be all these different, you know, benefits and quotations because it's also a different type of society. But I remember them just really like, what? And your beauty didn't help you pay, wait, they have their own, like, oh my gosh. And I had never thought of it differently. I had never thought of it differently cause that was normal. My friends bought homes early on, that was normal, right? There's that debt and the school debt, and like, you're just paying it off forever. Now moving here and meeting people and hearing them talk about, oh, you know, I needed to really save up before I bought that thing cause I wanted to be able to pay it in full. And I'm like, wow, well, how many years were you?

Candice: Yeah, I waited a couple of years. I was okay with that. Uh-huh, yeah, instant gratification, you know, like, look, but there is a scarcity mindset here. There is also a big fear and hold on and penny-pincher kind of, you know, style of, uh, my husband looks like a, a Swabian kind of mindset. Like if the fruit has fallen off the tree, you still grab that fruit and you make marmalade out of it or something, right? Everything has to be used, and you use it, and then it breaks, you try to fix it with every way you can. And if it really still can't be fixed, you hold onto it cause maybe you meet someone who could fix it. So there is this, like, around the scarcity of that, even though they make sure financially most time they can pay off a thing, right? And I just think generationally how that's been here and Europe, Greece and Italy, and France, all of the countries have their own history in their own way of looking at money. But until we step outside of our own, our own walls of where we're used to living and learn that we think it's just our way and that scarcity is only through our mindset and learn. So I'm so glad you brought up your grandparents because I think, gosh, that's so true that generationally in is, look, culturally red shape you, for sure.

Candice: Yeah, and you know, my brother moved to Scotland, and it's a completely different way of living, right? Like, you get a job, and you're, your content. Out here, well, I've been at this job for a few years, I should find another job, I gotta move up, I gotta keep going, I'd keep me up, change houses every couple, I've lived here for a few years, move, move, keep changing, keep changing, right? And yeah, like, some of it is that instant gratification and wanting change, but some of it, I think, is just like, are we really happy? And that plays into it too. Can we just be content with what we have, right? So you're constantly fighting this sense up, I feel like their scarcity start to work hard to, you know, chipmunk it, right? Like a, nope, keep it all together and also maybe I don't need to have all. What is it about being mindful in the moment and enjoying the present, that's, that's a really good point that we need to reflect on.

Katie: Yeah, yeah. I think that, you know, a lot of the money, Duff, the money mindset stuff really comes, really centers on, you know, your, your emotional state, right? You know, if I'm very tired and I have a bad job, and then I'm like, I need to feel happy, I'm gonna go to the mall, I'm gonna go blow $400 on clothes, I get home and not be for a little bit, and then I'm like, wait a minute, now I have credit card debt I gotta pay off, now I'm stressed about that, and I can't sleep, and you know, so in the end, what were we trying to do? We were trying to deal with something at work, but we're not dealing with the actual issue, right? So maybe change jobs, maybe address what's going on at work, but we're constantly trying to fix and Band-Aid different things instead of just dealing with issues that we have. And so again, a lot of that, yeah, I don't feel good about, I'm on social media, I don't feel good about myself, I don't look like those people on social media, hey, I gotta spend some money to feel better about myself, or, right, I got to go eat a whole bunch of food because I feel normal, I feel a little better about myself, right? So eating also, actually, there's a lot of stuff that ties in with money as well. But anyway, so I think that, yeah, really it's getting back to, like, what's our purpose? What are our goals in life? What's really important to you? What are your values? And the more that you can be in line with those things, the less all of this money stuff, I think a lot of our money concerns go away.

Katie: That's true. When I look at it through the lens of time, you know, with scarcity around time, you don't usually then, like, go shop and do that, you're like, I don't have time to shop, I don't have time to do the things, but what we'll do is binge-watch something for this role on our phone that all of a sudden we actually will use time-wasters. Yeah, just like you said with the money, like, I scares me, lack, lack, lack, all of a sudden I'm splurging on something now as a response to this feeling of scarcity kind of thing. It's like trying to gain back control, and it's this weird battle where you're like, that doesn't actually help. And like he said, if you actually address the issue at hand, you're gonna have way more progress in it than you are if you're going to, you know, continue, I don't have time, I don't have time, I don't have time, and then I really look at the calendar, and I look at how I spend my day, and I see where I'm spending my time, right? And is a money word again, spending. Now, where is the debt happening with, like, how am I exhausting myself or my energy? Or am I spending all of my energy? And so I find it fascinating when we talk about time, energy, and money, we use money terms.

Candice: Yeah.

Katie: Yeah, instead of, like, how do I want to invest my time today?

Candice: Yeah, that changes everything, right?

Katie: We are really, okay, I just have this much time, what am I gonna do to make this, like, an incredible day?

Candice: Yeah, it yeah, that is a big mindset shift. But again, scarcity is like that negative area of our brain loves to be fed constantly, right? Like, you know, oh, it's bad, negative, oh, this drives me and motivates me. And I think that's a reason, a big reason why so many of us hit burnout. There's this, you know, something we think we want to achieve, and we're willing to do all the things, and actually, once were there, doesn't make us happy.

Katie: Yeah.

Candice: Yeah, and we realized the how we invested our time, our money, and our energy wasn't really serving us at the end.

Katie: Yeah.

Candice: Yeah, I think it's so important to be present because if you're looking back, it's always about regret. If you're looking to the future, like, well, once I get that job, I'm gonna be happy. Once I get that much in my retirement account, I'm gonna be happy, right? And you think it was interesting, like, when we had gone to Europe last summer as a family, kind of a final hurrah before my son graduated, and when we saw the Eiffel Tower, my son was like, he was 14, and, or 13, 14, and he said, I don't feel different. Even, it was really interesting because he thought that this would be this, like, moment, I'm seeing the Eiffel Tower, five minutes later, his life is the same, right? And I think that's where we put so much emphasis on the future, like, I just have to do that, then gonna be different. It's like, oh, your life's gonna be the same really. Um, so I think if we try not to build up those moments so much, right? The I have to, I gotta get there, I gotta, and just feel like, well, today the sunset was amazing. Well, I was so happy I could just go play with my dog outside today. And you know, all those little things are actually what brings us the joy, right? And it begin, once we get more grounded in that kind of thing, the money is less of an issue.

Katie: I recently listened to someone talk about the word prosperity, and often with prosperity, we think about money, but really to live a prosperous life, most of us would say it's something about being, like, joyful, relaxed, right? We would use other words than I have all this money, like, that's, you know, wealthy, okay, but prosperous, to have a prosperous life, we have to get back to what we value. And once you, like, you mentioned, like, what is it you value? What do you really care about? What do you really want? Then you're more present in the moment looking for that. Then, like you said, I'm, I'm in the for the future, or I'm looking at the past going, oh my God, there's all these horrible things, and this is never enough, dah dah dah dah. If we can be in the moment, we will see we have much more prosperous lives already presently than looking at what we don't have. And then so that mindfulness is that, you're exactly right, we have to be present, we have to be present.

Candice: Yeah.

Katie: You have any last tips for us and the listeners to better understand how to work with the scarcity mindset and how to shift it?

Candice: Yeah, I think it's, you know, if you start with your childhood and really look back, it kind of every year leading up to being an adult and trying to think of the different things around money that you had as other conversations or things that were said that you can really remember that stick out. Um, I think that that's a good place to start to really recognize, like, where do my money beliefs come from? And so you know if you, if you had a single mom and you were at the food bank, and now you're like still struggling with, I gotta have enough food in my, my pantry, it's because of where you came from, right? It's not that you have lack, but your mind is thinking and worrying about lack still, right? And sold, I think that's a good place to start is to really recognize where are some of these beliefs coming from? And it takes rewiring every day. That's another thing to really remember because I think a lot of times people think I could just, okay, I'll overcome this now that I know where the issue is, but you really have to tell yourself almost every day, um, and that's for any change that you wanna make in life, right? I can't work out once and have perfect abs and be like, I'm good, you know? It's those habits every day. Um, and setting up just boundaries for yourself, like, um, if you have trouble on buying on Amazon, get that app off your phone, like, don't, don't even go there, right? Or you only buy once a month, and you gotta again make yourself wait, right? And really consider, do I actually want this item? So you have to kind of create some rules and boundaries around weaknesses that you might have. Uh, when the money comes in, set up an automatic withdrawal to get that money into an investment account. Um, there's lots of things out there that will make it easier for us, but we just have to use those tools and commit to using them again, making it a daily thing that where those things have to happen. Um, and then I think it just becomes that much easier.

Katie: That is a great point. It's the daily, it's, I always say 2%, put 2% in, right, of our personal growth is always a 2% daily shift, not big things, but just a little bit each day thinking differently, acting differently, making different decisions. The app, I didn't even know Amazon has an app. Gosh, that just shows you, like, oh my God, don't tell me that you're off the website.

Candice: Yeah, get it off your phone.

Katie: Oh, you're not about to enter your credit card, right? They're just, like, press the button, right? Make, you have to put in the work to put in the credit card, delete that all the saved was because it makes, oh, is this worth it? Oh, I have to get my card, I have to think about it, I have to do the thing. I have beautiful. That's a good point. Well, Candice, if people want to connect with you, where can they find you?

Candice: Yeah, my website, investorsmarts.ca, is the easiest, and get them all over social media, so feel free to reach out anytime.

Katie: Thank you so much, Candice, for today and sharing with us some things that we can start to think about and mindset shifts, really simple mindset shifts, but really powerful ones that if we daily pay attention to can really help us. I really appreciate your time.

Candice: Yeah, thanks so much for having me.

Katie: And dear listener, here's to finding our balance code. Thank you for listening to today's episode. I hope you enjoyed it. Take a moment to leave a rating and a review on your favorite podcast platform. That helps other listeners just like you to find this podcast too. Want to connect and learn how we can work together? Check out the links in the show notes below. Discovering your balance code doesn't have to be a one-person journey, you can have a team, and I'd love to support you. So here's to finding our balance code.