Relationship Reset: Reignite, Reconnect, Rebuild

How Networking Can Help You Beyond Your Work with Faithann Basore

Katie Rössler Season 4 Episode 5

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Is networking just a chore on your to-do list, or a powerful tool for building meaningful connections and achieving your goals? In today's world, networking is more important than ever, but it's also easier than ever to get it wrong.

In this episode, I'm joined by Faithann Basore, a networking expert and entrepreneur, to explore the often-overlooked power of building genuine connections, both personally and professionally. Faithann shares her own experiences of how networking helped her business thrive during challenging times and offers practical advice for creating a network that supports your success.

In this insightful conversation, Faithann highlights the importance of building trust as the foundation of any successful network and the value of approaching networking with a "tourist" mindset, focusing on curiosity and connection rather than self-promotion.

Our conversation takes a deeper dive into the Practical strategies for building rapport and making a lasting impression, the art of asking good questions that spark meaningful conversations and create genuine connections and the importance of reciprocity and offering value to others in your network.

In this episode:

  • How networking can provide unexpected support and opportunities, both personally and professionally.
  • Why networking is a long-term game that requires consistent effort and genuine connection.
  • How to leverage your network to achieve your goals, whether it's finding a job, building a business, or simply making new friends.


Connect with Faithann: 

Website: https://www.thenetworkerstourguide.net/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thenetworkerstourguide/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/faithann-basore/


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I don't know about you, but networking has been one of the most powerful ways of connecting, not only professionally but personally. We're going to be diving into what networking actually looks like and how we can stop having the mindset that networking's only about the professional world. Welcome to the Balance Code Podcast, a place for high achievers to step outside the hamster wheel of day-to-day life and start learning tools for more balance. I'm your host, Katie Rustler, and I will be guiding you on this journey of discovering your balance code.

Welcome back to the podcast! Thank you, Faithann, for being here. I am excited to hear from your point of view how networking has impacted your work, um, the clients you work with, but as well personally, how networking has helped you to connect with people all over the world. So, I have Faithann Besore here, and we're going to be going into the discussion about networking and the power of it in today's society, especially since we're online. So Faithann, thank you for being here. Take a moment and share with us a little bit about yourself, um, who you are, what you do, and who you serve.

Faithann:Sure, thank you so much for having me, Katie. I really appreciate it. So, I am in Oklahoma City. I live in a small suburb of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, and my husband and I own a window cleaning business that serves residential and commercial clients. It was through networking that we were able to sustain our business during COVID. What happened is I joined a weekly networking group, and two years before COVID came along, people were asking us to do, uh, to expand the scope of work that we were doing. They were asking us to do different things, like, "Can you come and clean this type of building?" or "Can you come clean my house?" when really we weren't doing that. I thought it was because I was part of that weekly networking group that I was accountable to, that we didn't want to say no. So, we said yes to those residential jobs. Then what happened was when 2020 came, in my town, you know, um, most of our commercial work either was suspended or dropped completely. It was those residential people that kept us in business because they were home and they were looking out at dirty windows. I had no idea that it would be, um, as powerful as it was. I mean, I just had no idea that those were the people that were going to sustain us, and I trace it back to that feeling that, in my networking group, I was in the big leagues, and they gave me the jersey, and I felt like I needed to wear it. For me to say, "Well, I don't really do that," I don't want to...it just wasn't the caliber of people I was with. So, we learned how to do things we weren't comfortable doing so that we could build those relationships with people in my networking group.

So that's kind of how this all started, and then last year I started a blog at TheNetworkersTourGuide.com, and I started writing networking articles all about how to network because I've been seeing some things that, you know, people might need a little help with. I've seen it done well in my BNI group and other groups, and then I've seen it done not so well. So, I started the blog, and then that turned into the website, and it just turned into some opportunities for people to work with me one-on-one with coaching, but my true passion is really writing that blog and helping people through the blog and then a private Facebook group that I have that's free.

Katie: Your story of being able to keep your business alive...those entrepreneurs who are listening to this are like, "Woo!" They know how it felt during that time, right? Or maybe some of you started after the pandemic, but that you were able to stay alive because of the power of networking, that you were able to, um, serve people who needed assistance, whatever the reason, because of a group that you are part of, that you're willing to show up and be there. I think, really, you know, it helps us set in perspective...one group, it was just one group, it sounds like, but it served a community that was able to keep your business going, and here you are now going, "Okay, networking's for real, and we need to talk about it, and we need to do it the right way."

So, what are some of the things you teach on your blog about how we can start networking, both professionally and personally, in more effective ways, in more authentic ways, too, right? Especially in the online world, it can feel a bit fake. What are some things that you teach?

Faithann: So what I tell people is we are going to need people. We don't know how, when, or why we'll need them, but we need them, and people need us. We don't know how, when, or why they're going to need us, but they will. So, the wonderful thing about that concept is that we don't have crystal balls where we can look into the future and say, "I'm going to need Katie in three months." We don't know. So, wouldn't it behoove us to treat everybody that we're coming in contact with as somebody that either we're going to be able to help or that we'll need help from? So, in the business community, what we're wanting is trust. I mean, the foundation is trust. That's why you network, is to build trust. Now, in the business community, you're building that trust for dollars, because I want...I'm going to separate you from your money, so you have to be able to trust me. So, I have to network with you in a way that builds a reciprocating relationship. But in other contexts, like somebody moving to a new town, or somebody looking for a job, there's still the same foundation of trust. So when I network with you, I'm wanting you to trust me, not because I want your money, but maybe I want a job opportunity, or maybe I'm a soccer mom and I...I just moved here from a different state, and my kids are young, and I just need some people, you know, when the washer goes out, or my kids are sick and I need my other daughter taken to school, or...just, again, it goes back to, we need people.

When we can be around people in a way that makes them feel comfortable around us, then it only benefits us in so many different ways. Had I known...if somebody would have told me before I joined my networking group, "Well, Faithann, this is all depending...you know, your business is going to rise or fall as to how many referrals you get from this group," you know, I would have never been able to be free to build relationships. I didn't know at the time, in 2018, when that first referral came, "Can you come clean the windows of my house?" I had no idea that that decision, that I said yes, was going to keep me in business two years later, but it did. So the things we do with each other, all the day-to-day, when we network, can have long-lasting effects, because it did with me.

Katie: You know, what you just shared about how this group impacted you, it's reminding me...I'm like, "Oh my gosh, that's actually how I got started here in Munich!" When we moved here, I was pregnant with our second, and I was thinking, "I'm not going to be working here in Germany, so let me just get up, be a part of some Facebook groups, and start to network, but also to connect with fellow moms, fellow expats." Through that, a year and a half later, when I did say, "Okay, I am going to go back to work," it was referrals because I had been networking, not with the intention to work...I mean, I was going into groups and sharing advice and thoughts on, you know, especially when there were problems in their relationships and stuff, and people posting challenges they were facing, because as a therapist I'm like, "Well, I have all this knowledge and experience, might as well use it somewhere and help people," right? But in the end, that is what ended up making my practice successful, pre-COVID and during COVID. It was taking the time to care about other people, to listen, to talk to them, and from that, we both got something out of it.

Um, and I love that you're pointing out that we don't know when we're going to be needed, and vice versa, but it's so important to have kind of your little logbook of, "Hey, I know somebody who does that, let me refer you to them," or "Hey, I'm in a pickle in this situation, I know somebody who does stuff like that." Because we network, and you're exactly right, it isn't just professionally, personally, we all look for a tribe, we look for people like us, we look for people who can help guide us, especially if you're new, like you said, to an area, and networking is the best way to do that.

You know, I have one particular friend who I feel like knows all of Munich, so whenever I have a question, I'm like, "Hey, girlfriend, can you...who do I talk to...hook me up." She's like, "I know five people." I'm like, "Yeah!" So when you talk to one person and you network with them, you end up getting connected to their whole network, too, right? I love this topic. This is like, "Yes, yes, yes!"

Faithann: Yeah, every person you know has about 200 people they're walking around with...the halo of about 200 people, and the person is the gatekeeper to those 200 people that are above them. So you want to be thinking, "If I want access to your contacts, then I need to treat you well." It's really not about being polite or friendly, there are some things you can do to really intentionally connect with people so that they feel connected to you.

Now, as far as business, when I seek a painter, or I seek a website designer, I'm not seeking that person who's been in business for 10 years, and I'm not clicking boxes for people who are good at painting or good at websites. What I'm seeking is people who I can trust. "Is this person going to treat my house like I would? Is this person going to treat my business as I would through the website?" That's why we have to connect with people, and one of the top ways to connect is to ask good questions, and ask questions that bring up in people stories they didn't know they had.

So, I have an article on the blog about bringing a bucket to the well, and you're handing the person that bucket, and you're saying, "Draw water from the well." They don't even know there's a story inside of them. You ask the right question, all of a sudden they pull up a story. Then when they leave, after talking with you, what will happen is they will feel...they'll remember the feeling they had when they separated from you. They're not going to remember, "Oh, Faithann asked me a great question." They're going to say, "I had a great conversation with Faithann." Well, if it's because you're asking good questions, like, "Tell me about a time when..." you know, where they have to search back in their memory and recall some things and pick the best memory from a series of good memories, that's a great question to ask. If you're looking for a job, if you're looking for a running partner, if you're looking for business, ask good questions, because those people are going to be the people that will return your phone call, that will answer your text, that you can lean into when you need help.

Katie: Hey there, I just wanted to take a moment to interrupt this interview and ask you a question. Are you ready to take your relationship to the next level? If so, I have a free and unique assessment that I've created to help you pinpoint the areas of your relationship that need a little TLC. Whether it's improving communication, building trust, enhancing intimacy, or aligning on your future goals, this assessment covers it all. It's called the Level 10 Relationship Assessment, and it's like a roadmap to your dream relationship. So why wait? Go book it! It's free, easy, and can make a world of difference in your relationship. Click the link in our show notes below to get started on booking your Level 10 Relationship Assessment. Now back to the interview.

You're so right. We often think when networking we need to sell ourselves. "Let me talk about myself first. Let me show how I'm the best. Let me, let me, let me, let me, let me..." And it's like, you just ask good questions and listen, listen. Right? Like that's 101 in communication, and yet that's not what most of us are doing.

Faithann: Yeah. One of the things to ask a business owner, and this would be perfect if you're trying to get a job, you know, and you're in a room full of business owners, what you want to ask them is, "What are you most proud of?" Because nobody ever asks the business owner what they're proud of. They're not...it's not like you're going to go around bragging about your accomplishments, but...because business owners are often seen as good leaders, and they have all their crap together, we don't ask them. But, boy, you want to light me up? Ask me what I'm most proud of, because then I light up. Or ask me something and pay attention...pay attention to the body language, and when you see those eyes light up, boy, lean in and ask, and ask, and ask. It may not always be about their business, but if you're trying to get someone to offer you a job, and you ask the question that gets them talking about golf, and they love golf, and their job is okay, but they love golf, but you're the person that asked them about that, and your application comes up, they're going to remember you, and most likely they will pick you, at least they'll give you a shot, because of the feeling that you gave them by paying attention and by making the conversation about them and not about yourself.

Katie: Definitely. I think there's something to be said about not only just, "Tell me a time when..." or "What are you most proud of?" but to ask for advice. "What's your favorite restaurant to go to for this?" or "How do you take care of this in this situation?" Those questions allow somebody to become sort of the expert, the teacher, and that also brings them into a connection with you because you are building trust with them as well for them to be able to share that, like, "Oh, well, here's my favorite place to go to, and oh, well, there's another place, and oh..." It's like, the wellspring of information starts to come out and helps them to feel more comfortable talking to you. I often think of...I believe it's called the Benjamin Franklin effect.

If I have this...humbly...I could have that, but yes. I remember what it is. So what it is, is the whole concept is if you ask a favor of someone...someone who maybe doesn't like you, especially something like, "May I borrow your pen?" Like something simple. Because of cognitive dissonance, they're like, "Okay, yeah, you can have my pen." Their brain is going to go, "Well, I must like them because I'm doing this kind thing for them." Then from then on they'll always have this kind association with you, like, "I was willing to give my pen to them. I was willing to give this advice." So, I felt comfortable with them. I feel a sense of trust with them, even if, starting out, they were a little like, "I don't know who you are. Okay, I'm not sure." So I often think about that in situations, not to manipulate, but to make sure that someone already feels comfortable with me quickly, is like, "How can I make them feel important and needed and valued so that they know that I'm not coming in going, 'Let me show you who I am.'" I'm talking to you like, "This is a two-way street, and I want to learn from you, and I want to gain information or wisdom, or whatever it is, from you." Then it becomes this feeling of, "Ah, this is creating a network. This is creating a symbiotic relationship." I think that's really powerful. So asking good questions and really caring to listen and be engaged, like you said, without the intent of, "I need a job, so I'm going to ask questions about the job," but like, "I'm just going to pay attention to who you are as a person and get to know you."

What are some other tools that you would say are really good in networking?

Faithann: Okay, so if you have to ask somebody for a favor, a good phrase is, "Would you be willing to...?" or "Are you open to the idea of...?" and be very clear about what you want them to do. Now, you were talking about asking for mentoring-type questions, but what you wouldn't want to do is ask somebody, "Would you be willing to mentor me?" because that seems overwhelming. But if you would say, "I have a proposal, and I was wondering, since you are good at..., or since I've seen the work that you've done, if I shot it over to you on Monday, would you be willing to give me just a few notes?" Because now you're taking that request and you're kind of honing it in, like, "I'm more likely to do one specific thing for you, but I'm not going to be the person that comes up with the plan."

Don't be...be careful when you're asking people to help you. Be very, very clear about the help that you want them to do for you, and you're more likely to get a yes. But if it's vague, and you're just putting more work on their plate, then more likely they're just going to ignore you, or they might just help you, but not really in the way that's best. Whereas if you took the time to say, "What do I really need from this person? How can I make it easy for this person to help me?" So that's whether you're the soccer mom or the CEO that wants an introduction to a Fortune 500 company. When you ask people for help, make it easy for them by first being very clear about what you want, and then try and think about, you know, "How can I make this easy, considering their situation?" You know, you're not going to ask somebody who's super, super busy for 10 hours of their time, but maybe you might ask for 15 minutes of their time if you can craft it in a way that doesn't make them feel overwhelmed.

Katie: That's very true. Let's shift into understanding where we can network because I know as we get older, you know, we're no longer in the school scene or the college scene where you meet people. It's not that first job where everybody's like attaching to each other. We've lived some life, and it can be hard to make friends. It can be hard to network. Where should we be networking? What are some good, um, yeah, things for us to be thinking about when it's like, "Okay, same thing, and I want to start networking, but I don't know where, and I don't know...like I'm uncomfortable." You know, it's like the first day of school all over again.

Faithann: And I hear that a lot from people, that they are nervous about going into a room that they're not familiar with. So there's two parts to that question. The first question, as to where, it depends on what you're wanting. So if you're just wanting connections, there's all kinds of civic organizations. There's Rotary...I don't know if they have it in Germany, but you know, here in the United States, we have what's called a Rotary Club, and it's a civic organization, but boy, you can sure get connections if you're all meeting weekly or monthly for the purpose of making your town better. Then you...a lot of things can happen there. Or church, or, um, you can network based on your interests, you know, a golf club, or a running club, or things like that.

And then, um, if you're afraid...this is the very first tour I wrote...was the very first article. I said, "Networking for the Terrified: Be a Tourist." So this is what I would suggest. I would first of all think about long-term. This is a long-term game. So if you're starting from zero, then you may have to give yourself six months of trying things out. So the analogy I use is that of a tourist. If your travel agent is going to give you a grade on how well you vacationed, then you're not going to use that travel agent. We don't go on vacation and visit places we don't know for a grade. We go as the tourist because we are curious. So our focus is outward. Uh-huh. So that would be my number one advice, is focus outward. Don't focus on yourself, and just treat the gathering as a tourist. "Do I like this? Are people nice?" You don't have to walk into the event holding the success of that event on your shoulders. Yeah, walk in and be a tourist for a little while. It takes all the pressure off, and just see how people are, you know, kind of read the room.

The other thing you can do...there's two things you can do. You can ask the organizer of the event, "Who would I...who should I meet?" because the organizer is going to know...they're going to know probably a little bit about you. "Who should I talk to?" That would be a great way to get right in the fray. You bring a friend. Bring a friend with you. Even if that friend is not interested, if you just say, "Will you just come?" Again, it goes back to asking specifically, "Hey, I have a thing that I'd like to attend. I want to build up my network. Would you be willing to just come to the first one with me? That's all I need."

Katie: As a kid who went to eight different schools, I can tell you that it always feels uncomfortable when you walk in, but rarely does it feel as uncomfortable as you walk out. So going in with that mindset of, "Just because it's uncomfortable in the beginning doesn't mean it will stay that way." Um, you know, I love the power of visualization, of just going, "How do I want this to turn out? What do I want it to look like? You know, what's the best-case scenario out of this?" Then your brain kind of is primed to look for that, to look for those...the...look for that friend, you know, the other person who seems uncomfortable there as well.

And, um, I go through that a lot when I'm about to do something new. I would go through the visualization of how I wanted to end and also remind myself, "I've been the new kid a lot in my life. It's okay. It hasn't been the end of the world." And how many times it has worked out really well to be the new kid, and to, you know...more people want to come and meet you when you're new to a group or organization, or even at a job. They want to come and introduce themselves, and like you said, you're going...you're looking outward. They're going to come to you because they're like, "Ah!" But if you're very closed off, and "I don't want to look, I'm not making eye contact," they can already tell this may not be...you know, like, "Oh, right."

Faithann: And so somebody like me, in a situation like that, when I encounter somebody, I'm going to go ahead and talk to them because I can carry water for both of us. But not everybody's going to carry water for both...like I have enough enthusiasm and excitement and curiosity for me, but I can't have it for both of us. We both got to at least try. And I just remember what that other thing was, and it alluded to what you said. You know, you can go find the person who looks as scared as you are. Yeah, because that person will welcome you with open arms. "Oh, thank goodness somebody's coming to talk to me!" So go find the person that looks just as scared as you, and then ask the host to introduce you to somebody, and bring a friend. And then when you bring your friend, you can, um, you can tell yourself, "My job here this evening at this mixer is to let everyone know how awesome my friend is." So that gives your brain a job, something to do. "My job...I'm just going to spread the good news about my friend." So it's going to do a couple of things for you. It'll take the focus off yourself, and then it tells people, "Oh, you're a person who notices good in others." That's the very first step to trust. You're a person who compliments other people.

And then I tell people in the business setting, I say, "Instead of passing your business card out like a deck of cards, pass out compliments like a deck of cards." If you want to pass something out, by all means, don't pass out your business card like a deck of cards. Pass out compliments, and let the people ask you for your card, and you'll know you've made some connection if they do.

Katie: That is a great tip. You know, I remember when we first, um, my husband and I first got our stroller...so that would have been 10 years ago...and there was this little, like, zipper on the outside of the seat, and I was like, "What is this?" I unzipped it, and I pulled it out, and these little mommy cards were there. It was like, "I'd love to have a playdate. Name, phone number." And I was like, "Oh my god, this is genius!"

We often think business cards are a bit...right...but like affection cards can be. "Oh my gosh, I really just loved our conversation. I'd love to talk again. Here's my number, or here's my email." So we need to kind of keep things like that. Nowadays everybody just pulls out their phone and, you know, shares stuff that way. But I think we forget, again, that networking isn't just for professionals, and we need to be ready to create those connections and to share how to further that connection beyond, "I'll see you next quarter," or, you know, "Maybe next month," or "Oh, you're sick, I'll see you at the next one," kind of thing. Like, don't be afraid to connect beyond that one moment.

And worse, as they say, "I'm not really comfortable giving my phone number out to somebody I don't really know," or "My email out," or "No, we'll just see each other at the next one." Okay, it's okay. We've all been burned before. We know what that feels like. Nothing new, right? Move on to the next person. Move on. Yeah, but this is the only way this grows...that your network grows...is by continuing to take steps of vulnerability and connection, right?

Faithann: Yeah, I've...I've had...you know, one of my goals was to get on podcasts to talk about my blog, and if I would have stopped at the first no, the first rejection, you know, I wouldn't be talking to you. So you don't let no stand in your way, man. Learn from it, and you just got to keep going, man. You just...you just got to, because...because people just don't have enough gumption for both of you. You've got to have that gumption because they're dealing with their own stuff. So not everything's going to be easy, you know, but you try really hard to make it easy for people to be around you, and it'll come. It'll all come. What you're wanting will come.

Katie: Totally, Faithann. Thank you so much for everything you've shared and giving us some tools and just making it really practical. If people want to connect with you, where is the best place, beyond your blog, to connect with you?

Faithann: Well, you can find me on Facebook. Just my first and last name, Faithann Besore. Friend me on Facebook, and I have a Networker's Tour Guide Facebook group that you can come in, and we talk about where we're networking each week. Um, I'll ask a question, like a networking-related question, and then every Saturday I let everybody in there put an offer out if they have something, like an event, or an offer that they...or some product that they want to push. On Saturdays, I let them take half a day at it, you know, and we just...we like to have a lot of fun in there. We have questions and answers, and I want to be a support, you know, for people who are afraid.

So recently I was, uh...I saw a video of somebody at a networking group, and she's this mom...she started this non-profit for single moms. Well, she had moved here from another state. She moved here with her husband to be close to his family, and then he ended up having an affair on her, divorced her. So he had his network, and she had nothing because when she moved here, she didn't do anything. I mean, she said, you know, "I didn't know anybody." So he's got his support; she has nothing, and it's unbalanced. Then she found herself...I was...two kids and no support in a brand new area. So I would say, please, um, get some people around you, because you need them. You know, it's good for you...it's good for us as humans to connect with other humans.

Katie: Absolutely. Thank you so much, Faithann. Again, we'll make sure all the links to connect with you are in the show notes so people can reach out and, if they want to join your group, of course, if it fits them, make sure they connect with you and do that. I appreciate your time.

And dear listener, here's to finding our balance code. Thank you for listening to today's episode. I hope you enjoyed it. Take a moment to leave a rating and a review on your favorite podcast platform. That helps other listeners, just like you, to find this podcast, too. Want to connect and learn how we can work together? Check out the links in the show notes below. Discovering your balance code doesn't have to be a one-person journey. You can have a team, and I'd love to support you. So here's to finding our balance code.




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