Katie Rössler: Welcome back to the podcast! 

Are you having difficulties at work? Challenges, maybe, with your team? Not happy with the way things are going? I have a feeling you are because a lot of my clients and friends are struggling with this right now. 

So, I brought Caroline Mug in, and we're going to be discussing how to handle the challenges we're facing at work, how to take care of ourselves in the process, and how to recognize how it's impacting us.

Welcome to the Balance Code Podcast, a place for high achievers to step outside the hamster wheel of day-to-day life and start learning tools for more balance. I'm your host, Katie Rössler, and I will be guiding you on this journey of discovering your balance code.

So, Caroline, thank you so much for being here today and taking some time to share with us your life experiences and the wisdom you've gained from it. If you'll take a

moment and share with us a little bit about yourself, where you are, and what

you do now, 'cause I know you're going to be sharing with us what you've done in the past that led to some of the things you've experienced.

Caroline Mug: Yes, thank you, Katie. I am so excited to be here with you on the

Balance Code and to talk a little bit about how to manage different stressors

that come up at work because they inevitably do in a variety of different ways.

Um, I am a certified coach, um, keynote speaker, and do different workshops and

trainings with my clients. And I'm excited to share some different tips and

ideas to help give people strategies to manage that stress and ways to build awareness so that they can see, as you mentioned, how it is impacting your life.

Katie Rössler: Definitely. Well, let's start with what your own journey has been like with challenges at work that kind of led you to the work you do now.

Caroline Mug: Yes. So, I've had a variety of different roles in my career. I

started in education and taught internationally, which was an incredible

experience. When I moved back to this state, I had the opportunity to work for

my entrepreneurial mother, and so that spirit is definitely inside me and

something that I thought about for about 10 years before starting my own

business and my own entrepreneurial journey. Um, after I worked for her, I

moved into—you know, we did a lot of training, we supported college students

with, um, different challenges, both with day-to-day and, um, from a kind of

emotional stress, things that pop up while we're in school. And so I took my

background and moved that into the learning and development space from a

corporate perspective and have had the opportunity to help new managers level

up their skills, early career individuals help define their career path and figure out what their journey might look like.

And I think one thing that's really

important, and I always love visual representations of this, is that no journey

is a straightforward path. We're all—you know, peaks and valleys and different

detours that come up along the way. But when you take a step back, and one of

the things that I learned in a course that I took is that it's just really

interesting to see how all your steps really weave together to paint a pretty

cool picture and help you see how you've ended up where you are today. And so

I'm grateful for all the experiences I've had and all the people that I've had the opportunity to support and help them grow in their careers.

Katie Rössler: So, now you've shared with me that you had a challenging

situation at one of the places you worked where you simultaneously felt

listened to, but also not, because change didn't happen. Do you mind kind of

sharing with us—we don't need to be going into great detail, 'cause obviously,

we want to respect those involved—but what sort of happened, 'cause I know this plays out in a lot of workplaces.

Caroline Mug: Mm-hmm. Yes. So, I will say, on a positive side, it gave me an

opportunity to learn how to voice concerns. I had ways I wanted to advocate for

myself, and I started to do that, and it was a really stressful process. I'm

very visceral in how I feel things, and so I had to do—yeah, really worked to

prepare what I would want to say when I went into these conversations. I wanted

to have information to support that. You know, what I found in working in large

organizations is that the data that you have and that you bring to the table is

really important in supporting where you're at, what questions you're asking,

what you might be asking for, so that they can see what supports that. So, I

worked really hard to set that up, and I received validation on progress I was

making, the positive impact I was having, but I wasn't able to see that

translate into things to help my career progress to the next level. And I was

also in an environment where there was a lot of change, and that instability, I

think, also made—I was there to help keep things moving forward. I, in probably

three to four years, I had two different teams. I was one of the one or two

people that stayed stable on the team, and then we had a lot of colleagues that

came and went. So that speaks a little bit to what the environment was like and

how moving the needle could be hard, just because you're trying to manage the

day-to-day, keep things moving forward. We were on a team that supported a lot

of other people, and so we wanted to make sure we didn't drop the ball on any

of those things, but in turn, sometimes we didn't get that same support that we

were providing others.

Katie Rössler: Yeah. And, and I, I know in the work culture, often it is really

about productivity and, you know, where are we going and how fast are we

getting there. But what you just pointed out about the company culture of how

do we also nurture our employees and even our managers to be able to sustain

that and to feel like they're growing. We want to feel a part of that, right? Like,

that we're being invested in as much as we're investing in, uh, into the

company. What are some things that you, um, that you noticed about yourself or

maybe with the clients that you work with about how the stresses and challenges

at work were impacting the rest of the areas of their life?

Caroline Mug: I think one of the first places you see it is the stress that you

have at work doesn't stay there, and you take that home with you. And you have

to think about how you can let that go so that it doesn't negatively impact

those that are in your life, whether it's a partner, kids, friendships, and how

you show up in those as well. So, those were things that I started to see how

that impacted other people in my life. And it—and I could hear that from people

that I worked with, is they wanted to be able to show up 100% at work, and they

want to be able to show up 100% at home. But when your energy is getting

drained because maybe you're not in a supportive environment, maybe there's

been changes—for example, as I mentioned before, we had turnover on our team—so

the amount of work that you have during those periods does not change, so

someone is responsible for picking up the slack, taking on those

responsibilities, and that takes a toll. We have so much capacity, and when

we're pushed over and over again, it—that's where that term burnout comes from.

And, Katie, I know you work with a lot of your clients and a

lot of people around burnout and overwhelm, and things just get to be too much.

And so our fuse is shorter, our energy is depleted. And so when, you know, we

get demands from other places in our life, and we already feel like we're just not doing enough or just getting by, it can come out in a variety of ways, that stress.

Katie Rössler: Yeah, definitely. Love that you pointed out that it, it doesn't

stay there. It impacts our relationships. And you know, I, I think another

piece, let's bring to the table how physically it impacts us. The tension we

experience, the, the headaches, the troubles, the waking up in the middle of

the night and kind of ruminating over those conversations you need to have or

you did have and didn't go well, right? Problems with eating, the, like, the

physical piece of it and the relationship piece of it are so huge, and yet we

sort of overlook those because the problem feels so big, right? Like, it just

feels like, "Ah, work!" And we can't even see out of our—it's like a

peripheral, like, "Oh man, I'm impacting all these other areas of my life and myself because of this thing I've become hyper-focused on."

Caroline Mug: Yeah. Our body is so good at telling us when things are off, and

so often we might be so caught up in what's going on that we're not taking time

to truly be aware of how we're feeling, or we are just doing everything that we can to get through that day that we don't take the time to step back and say, "What's going on? What do I need to do for myself? Or why am I feeling this way? What—what am I feeling?"

I think sometimes we—you mentioned overeating. I—sometimes it's under-eating. People numb out at the end of the day because we just don't want to deal with it, using our phones, using glasses of wine, binging a Netflix show. And a lot of—some of those things can be helpful in moderation, and, um, yeah, it can be nice at the end of the week to go out and celebrate the week's closure with your colleagues and have a happy

hour. But if those things become more than they used to, those are signs of

saying something's off. And what is that? What am I feeling? What—this isn't

how things look. Or maybe you start to realize you're not doing the things that

you enjoy. Um, in addition to some of those behaviors, the, you know,

those—that tension from headaches, the challenges with sleep, can really be

seen in the ways you're feeling. You might have more anxiety, might be

struggling to focus or feel motivated. Or maybe, I know one thing that was

really hard for me during this period was, because I had, you know, was

acknowledged, and, "We hear you," but didn't see anything in response

to that, my anger really started to build up around that, and that was really

unhealthy for me. And what I realized at the end of the day is change wasn't

happening, but I was—stopped controlling the things that I could control. And

at the end of the day, I was the one that was losing out, 'cause they didn't care that I was frustrated. At least that's how it felt to me, right?

Katie Rössler: What are some things that you did to help you feel more in

control during that time or just deal with the stress? What were the tools you were using?

Caroline Mug: Hmm. One of the things that I, um, happened unexpectedly during

this time was someone gifted us—actually, within the organization, uh, which I

think is really interesting, uh, it was a holiday gift, and they gifted us a

gratitude journal. And I've always loved journals. I've journaled since I was

young, and I have boxes of them, uh, in my storage here in my house. And I

decided I was going to use that, and I had never done a gratitude journal

before. It wasn't a regular practice that I had. And it was really helpful

because I had reached a point where, you know, I was like, "I don't want

to be here anymore." Those were things that I was saying to myself as I

was walking through the parking lot into the building, which is not helpful,

and it doesn't put you in a good mindset to start your day. And one of the

things was that I really loved the job that I had and the people that I

supported, and I wanted to be able to show up for them, help them grow and

thrive in their careers. So, it's really important that—and this journal really

helped me start to flip the switch and seeing what I did like about my job,

what I was grateful for, and some of the simple things that I had lost sight of

through my overwhelm, through my anger, through different parts of that challenge that I was experiencing.

And so it was helpful for me, and one of the things I realize is that gratitude is a really simple process, and it doesn't take away—it didn't take away from my frustration. My feelings were valid, and, but it also helped me be more optimistic about each day and not let that heavy cloud take over the way that it had, impacting both my physical and

mental health because I had had shingles, I had had an ear infection, I had

had, um, you know, your tension builds up, and I'm a very physically active

person. I would—was more sporadic in how I was taking care of myself, and, you

know, I ended up injuring myself and needing physical therapy. So, I really did

need to take a step back, and that tool was extremely beneficial in helping me

refocus, really get grounded into what was important and not take away—you know, the—the small things help make our day just a little better.

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I think that's an excellent tool, and I love that you pointed out that it helped you see that there was good in your day, there were things that you were still passionate about in the work you were doing and things that you really enjoyed. So, I'm—I think that, you know, there's a lot of research around gratitude journals and just taking a

moment to even list three positive things that are happening that day, every

day. Like, stopping and doing that, um, it really shifts our focus. It helps

to, you know, engage parts of our brain and sort of light them up in a positive

way that we need. So, I, I love that you led with that tool. What are a couple other things that you found were really helpful during that time?

Caroline Mug: One thing I really started to go back to that I taught a lot of

different individuals on, as well as larger workshops, is through stress

management, and is deep breathing and really taking a step back and just—and it

can be as simple as taking three deep breaths before going into a situation.

It's something I've always used, or I do a training session or go live

somewhere. It just helps me calm down, 'cause it calms your nervous, uh,

system. And so I would do that before I got out of the car. Sometimes I would

need to do it when I pulled into the driveway before I went into the house so

that I could re-center myself because I didn't even realize how much things

were building up and what different things were impacting me. Um, I had worked

with someone that, you know, what, needed a lot of oversight on things, and so

my work was highly scrutinized, which was a very new thing for me, and I

haven't experienced that in previous organizations that I've worked for. So,

those things had taken a toll, and I know I used to go home and, you know, I

would be so upset. Sometimes I would cry on the way home from work, and being

able to collect myself and kind of transition into a different part of my day

and not carry that all forward with me was really helpful. Um, so I find deep

breathing to be such a simple and often overlooked option, but it's such a

great way, and there's so many cool breathing techniques out there. I love the,

the box breathing, you know, four, four, four. So that's a really cool one.

There's so many good ones that you can find. Just YouTube it, Google it.

There's so many cool exercises out there. Um, and there are simple ones that

you can go to, and they can take 30 seconds or less and really help you refocus

to go into maybe a challenging meeting or you've just come out of one and need

to call someone else and be able to switch gears and things. This is a strategy that can really help you do that and really give your system a reset.

Katie Rössler: You know, it, it's good you point that out, 'cause sometimes we

can't just leave the situation at work, right? You know, like we had to feel

like, "That was horrible. I'm gone." Like, no. "I have five more

hours of this." So focusing on the breath grounds you. Exactly like you

said, it just helps—also, it really helps that prefrontal cortex to get back

into activation and be like, "Hey, let me not send that email. Let me not

say that thing I want to say," but, you know, "Let me—or cry if I

need to, right? Let me find a space where I feel safe to cry." But it

allows you to be in tune. So that's another great tool. I'm glad that you used

that during that time, you encourage people to do that. Anything else you want

to wrap us up with as we put a finish up our interview for today, as far as tools of how we can handle challenges or facing at work?

Caroline Mug: Sure. Two that I find really important are movement and

meditation. So, one thing I really started to do was I would bring an extra

T-shirt, I would keep my tennis shoes under my desk so that I could take a walk during lunch. Uh, we weren't in the, you know, Division of Parks outside, but you figured out a space to make that happen. And some people would just walk around the parking lot, but getting some fresh air, helping your body just release some of that energy, that stress, that tension, is such a gift. Just doing it for five or 10 minutes can make a huge impact, and it just supports your overall well-being. So, I really encourage doing some

movement, whatever that looks like from you for you, but getting outside just adds a bonus element to it.

And meditation might not feel like, "Oh, workplace option," but it can be a great way to start or finish your day, and you can do it for three to five minutes. Doesn't have to be a

20-minute practice, but it's another one. I like to start it with a few deep

breaths, and I do mindfulness meditation, which means really just being aware

of where you're at, fighting your thoughts, but if they come in and out, to

acknowledge those and let them go. What—one thing I think that's really

important about that is with that, you're—you're gaining some acceptance of

where you are at and having appreciation for that, even if that's not where you

want to be. And that's one thing I think can get, uh, mixed up about that, the

term "acceptance," is that if you accept something, you're resigning

that that's the way it's going to be. But what I found is that you're

acknowledging where you're at, and then you can figure out where you want to go

from there and figure out what that first step is so that you don't let that

become overwhelming, daunting, and fall back into things that, you know, that

avoiding that, numbing, some of those behaviors because you feel stuck, you feel burned out, defeated, whatever that might—

Katie Rössler: Yeah. Thank you for those last two tools. I, I, I hope that the

listeners are listening to those four tools and kind of making note, "How

can I get—incorporate them through this challenge right now that you're going

through at work?" And you know, these are great tools to go through any

challenge in life. But you know, as we talk about the workplace, it's great

that some of these are things you can very easily do at work and, and to, to

feel comfortable, especially that movement piece. Like, just go for a walk.

Sometimes meetings need to be a walk and talk. "What do you—like, we need

to meet, but let's walk and talk" so that you both are getting the outlet.

Um, as well, Caroline, thank you so much. If people want to connect with you, if they have questions, where can they find you?

Caroline Mug: Yes. So, you can find me online at  www.carolinemug.com. I have a weekly newsletter. You're welcome to sign up and get different tips like this coming into your inbox each week. You can find me on Instagram. I like to hang out there @caroline.mug. And, um, I mentioned earlier that gratitude is a really important practice. I just put a journal out on Amazon, and it is designed to be extremely simple and easy, 'cause that's my goal, is to help people with things that are simple so that I don't add to your overwhelm or your to-do list. So, if you're interested in checking that out, I think Katie's going to put the details in the show notes.

Katie Rössler: Yes, all of that will be in the show notes. Definitely go check

out the gratitude journal, and it sounds amazing. I can't wait to see it. Caroline,

again, thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing a little bit about your

own story and giving you some tools as we navigate the challenges that you

might be facing at work. Um, and, and dear listener, go and reach out to Caroline

if you've got some questions, if you're like, "Hey, what you shared, I'm

going through. So, you know, what is your tool? Like, in use?" She's going to be a great resource for you. So, thank you again, Caroline.

Caroline Mug: Katie, this was so wonderful. Thank you so much for

this opportunity, and it was great to speak with you. And dear listener, here's to finding our balance code!

Katie Rössler: Thank you for listening to today's episode. I hope you enjoyed

it. Take a moment to leave a rating and a review on your favorite podcast

platform. That helps other listeners just like you to find this podcast, too.

Want to connect and learn how we can work together? Check out the links in the

show notes below. Discovering your balance code doesn't have to be a one-person

journey. You can have a team, and I'd love to support you. So, here's to finding our balance code!